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Brothel Royale!

from Heavy Mahogany by The Dread Crew of Oddwood

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lyrics

There are those times in Oddwood's life where rape becomes a chore;
where stifling those unwilling cries- it turns into quite a bore.
One night like this our lecherous crew did scour a town we sack'd
For a brothel or a house where we could bathe in tits and twat!

We burst into a wooden building wrought with hanging rags,
And were pleased to find a slew of willing prostitutes and slags.
The stench it filled our nostrils and the sights they stang our eyes
And the ladies gave us booze and had us wrapped between their thighs.

Sailors, men and buccaneers: beware the hooker's knife-
For a lady with a juicy clam is not quite worth your life.
We sing to you a song quite true of the night we nearly lost
Our rigging boots, our swords and guns, our jewels and our cocks.

We tossed aside our guns, our swords, our axes and our blades
After all, we hail from Oddwood! Why should we be afraid?
The skillful whores had us engorged, relaxed and then subdued
And began their matronly attack whilst we were in the nude.

T'was halfway through a lovely screw when we first saw the gleam
Of this portly gypsy's scimitar as she charged us with a scream
With a crash we leapt to action- and dodged her for our lives
But before the bitch could stab us Castle jizzed into her eyes!

The floozies had us cornered with our own damn swords and guns
whilst our asses backed against a wall painted in cum
As the girls closed in on us- we had but one choice left
To bone our way through all these gals- and give them all the shaft!

In a blur of pubes and chest hair, the beaver bashing banged
Through the hefty and the skinny, every chick was wanged!
We scampered to exit and although we dodged their trap-
The following day, we're sad to say we all had caught the clap.

credits

from Heavy Mahogany, released April 21, 2012
Music and Lyrics by Wolfbeard O'Brady

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